Walking against all odds , flowing against gravity , that s what I did and shall keep on doing, until time stays still for me or I cease floating with time . I still do not know , one fine morning I walked in to the vibes of a village , purely coastal , and found myself getting lost in to the trance .. Dear friend , I know the look in your eyes and the smile on your face , but read on . the pavement not tarred, with bushes of all kinds on both sides, birds still chirrping remembering some primitive dreams , very few buses and people on cycles , walking ………………….in this era.
I walked through. Destiny holds its wine , each glass having a different flavor to offer for each person and for me that travel was a voyage in to woman hood . Deciphering the very me in me , finding , the me in all and the all in me . Oh , am I complicating. To be true , I was not alone in the expedition , as you know , from the beginning I was never in terms with the social groups that existed for what ever reason . Even after my repeated assurance of never breaking the sanctity of the value systems I myself uphold , I sounded too feminine , or what they call the feminist . I had my co traveller, my collegue a silent Bahu with me . I decided never to exploit his language skills , but I preferred to speak and my questions needed throb with my feelings ,my convictions and I wanted to be true .
I was not there to collect any pieces of information that I would tabulate and analyse and quantify and later declare , women are violated. I never intended to . To me it was finding some thing I felt is loosing . To discover something , to reincarnate. Hey , I see that smile on your face . I believe in the feminine face of god , the ultimate was SHE as I always presumed . But theSHE was not alone , SHE was HE and HE was SHE .
My team was wonderful , the interpreter , you know, the accredited social worker of great Indian health sector , was the king pin of the whole . I walked in to each house , house after house , carrying a difficult set of dilemma and then , it happened that ,I tried to fathom , each house , a temple . A temple , Indian , greek , Egyptian ……………………..the female face was same . The heart of a woman , was always same since centuries . I spoke to that universal heart and it responded , ardently , beyond the lines and boundaries of culture , education . Differences paved way to similarity and similarities opening in to spectacular differences . Aren’t we woman so special.
Domestic violence , was what I am supposed to study, my thesis, which has to help me score and where was I drifting to . You still, read on . I haven’t told yet what I want to . I have rocked my two years for it , meeting all sorts of authorities for sanctions , committiees for ethical clearance . I was about to handle a pain , a trauma , I was to fiddle with the untold , to unravel the silence ,to unveil the irony . I was never bad at speaking , I conducted seminars , gathered , sthree sakthi associations ,to know …………….what , the tears ,the sufferings , the docility the submissiveness……………dear , what you call ……..a woman .
Have you ever felt the earth , the wind that comforts you. The colours that makes you smile . what a question , I know your smile ……………………..The earth , its navelfrom where we originates , its concern , its love ……………….wheream I heading to . Each woman is an earth. Its balance , its destruction . It brings forth , sustains , tend and still in its abode the magma burns and splashes . I admit I went to the villages to unleash , a speck of it .
My mind harbours all I heard , the tales of being spurned , defeated , of womb being pierced by hangers or what ever metal piece , lot more , of humiliation and lot a lot and lot .
To tell you ., not of women who saw space , who rule countries , who sells and buys .who writes and paints . I want to tell you of women who nurtures , works hard , who rolls beedi ,for a liveli hood , the simple anganwadi workers , fisher women . very simple beings , with face of god…………..
I am away from all that , I could do nothing for them , I walked away as if I came to conduct a study . But my inferences are
……..I saw in their meekness , the strength to move mountains, I saw in their humility , the power to govern kingdoms . In their loss , success of a generation . In their sacrifice , gains worth treasures . They were hopes in all despondency . They were light in every darkness . I saw in their failures , the winning of an institution , what you call family , a nation . They were silent , but their voice was geetha , bible , quran …………call it what ever.
A belief that ………………..every thing is sound , protected , secure warm . and I call it women . women of Indian village.
Do not call me feminist , but god manifest as women ………………………………………I CONCLUDES. .
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